[godsvictory]

My cells are currently in CIN III, moderate to severe. I had my colposcopy and biopsies done this past friday, and had the results by tuesday. So only two business days.

I think the most difficult part of this for me has been the emotions that have come up as a result. Anger - fear - sadness - giggles - you name it. I have found the best thing I can do is be completely honest with how I am feeling, and know that is ok. It's ok to be sad. It's ok to be angry.

I sent out an e-mail being completely honest with all of the people I love and trust. I told them I was even angry at God, one part of me, and another knew that all of this happened for a reason. I told them I really needed their love and support. I got back so much. It has been great.

Many people believe that cancer (which is NOT what we have, but could turn to after years, if left untreated), is a result of intense emotions that we stuff down, rather than communicating. And where do women stuff all of our anger, hate, guilt, etc.? Yep - cervix, ovaries. So perhaps this is the body's way of saying, "Look at me! Deal with me! Love me!"

I will do a LEEP procedure, but will need to wait until January, when I return from my travels. I have been getting craniosacral therapy which has really helped, and acupuncture

If you have a sensitive cervix, you might discuss this with your doctor and see if you can take something that will "take the edge off", before the procedure. This is a reasonable request, I'm sure they can comply.

The colposcopy itself is not very long. The doctor will put a dye or vinegar on the cells to see which ones appear abnormal. Then she will use an instrument that takes tiny pieces of flesh from the cervix, these are called biopsies, which will be sent to the lab to test for what grade (mild, moderate, moderate to severe) you have. She may also do what is called cervical scraping, which takes just a minute and is uncomfortable but not horrible. I found the biposies were the most uncomfortable, causing some cramping. Nothing really was painful, just more really uncomfortable. I found it very helpful and nice to have both my Mom and my partner with me, holding my hands.

I hope that helps. Please let me know if I can help in any other way. Good luck in your results.

[rbanms]

ok then please tell to inform me how to control the emotions and anger

thanks

[godsvictory]

Wow. That's a tough one. I can't speak what is right for you, but I can share what helps me. I think for me, it is not about controlling those emotions, but just being with them. They will change, sometimes angry, sometimes, sad - and the most important thing: they are all ok. If you're angry, tell yourself "I'm angry,and that's ok. What do I need in this moment?" Maybe that's a walk, chocolate, treating yourself to a massage, telling someone the truth instead of holding back. Whatever feels right to you.Treat yourself well. This is a hard thing to go through. Best of luck, take care.