Depression

[lildre44]

Hi all,
I have a problem and I don't know what to do. I am originally from the Westcoast and I decided that it would be a good idea for me to go to a school in the mid-west. I was absoultly 100% ready to get the hell out of my town and move on to bigger and better things. As soon as I got here I freaked out, I kept telling myself that I couldn't do this. My dad was with me until the following Tuesay, this was Saturday that we flew in. Even with my dad here I couldn't get a grip. I cried so hard, all night, everynight. Clinging to my bed post just wanting to get the heck out of here. My parents told me that I could leave after the first week of school if I absoulty hated it. By the end of the first week of school I started to feel a little better, things were ok. I was still sad but things felt alright. About two weeks ago I started getting the same feelings again. I am so scared, lonely and just heartbroken. I feel like no one understands what I am going through. Everyone is telling me "It's going to get better, you just need to give it time." That is so hard for me to hear. No one gets that I am 3000 miles away from home, scared, anxious and lonely. I feel terrible. I am physically sick. I just feel tired, drained and rundown. I just want to go home. At the same time I know that if I went home, it wouldn't be like it was when I left. All my friends went to college and I would be at home, by myself.I don't know what to do. I don't want to like it here. I don't want to feel this way anymore, but I am here until Decemeber and I can't image how I am going to live until then. Does anyone know how to help me, good advise. Oh God this is just the worse feeling in the world and I feel like nonone can understand my thoughts exactly. I hate it.
Yours Truly,
College Student

[james2]

i understand. i am from the northeast and was accepted at a prestigious college in washington dc. growing up i was very dependent on my parents and felt very secure in their company.when i left home, it didn't take long for me to freak out and beg to come home. unlike your parents, my parents made it very easy for me and allowed me to do just that after my first semester. i had extreme anxiety, i felt so scared and alone, i would watch other college students at the school who were totally independent and i envied them and felt more alone. i was relieved to go home, the anxiety and depression went away because i saw light at the end of the tunnel.once home i went to a state school in my area and commuted everyday. i felt like a failure for leaving the other school but i preferred to feel that way instead of the going crazy feeling.
that was 12 years ago, i'll tell you what i learned. the pain went away after leaving college TEMPORARILY. eventually, i had to break with my family as i got older. i had to do things for myself and be responsible we can't avoid that, i was afraid to travel away from home, and i always second guessed myself.i suffered panic attacks and extreme anxiety but i learned that is something we need to go through in order to grow and really experience life. it hurts but it goes away as you learn more about yourself. i became stronger, i have traveled all over this country and other countries. i am very independent, i have seen beautiful places i would never have seen if i were still afraid. i have really lived life. my only regret is that i didn't finish school in washington because i would have changed sooner. pain is only temporary. can you tell me of any pain that isn't? even people with chronic pain do not feel pain all the time, they learn to cope and it becomes less intense. i think you need to realize that you are stronger than you think. make little goals, say to yourself you will make it through the day. after you accomplished that, make your next goal a week than a semester than a year and so forth. you will feel so powerful if you pull through this. and don't be ashamed to see a therapist to help you build up your self confidence. you can't hide from pain forever,at some point you have to face yourself. why not do it now,god i wish i did it back then.

[hannah]

It's normal! I hated leaving home the first and second time. Try getting involved with things that interest you. It sounds generic but it's a big help. I personally am against going greek, but many people choose that route when they're young. Who do you live with?
I joined the army and left home at 19. I haven't lived near the west coast for almost 4 years now. It took some time to realize I was capable of being an "adult" and making it on my own. I had a few breakdowns. After being at war in the desert I dealt with a whole new feeling of uncontrollableness. It will be OK.

[lildre44]

Thank you for talking to me. It has gotten a little easier but it has still been terribly difficult. I moved from Oregon to Illionois, not as far as you but it has defintly been difficult. I live with one other girl in a dorm, which sucks cause sometimes you just need your space. Whatever i have made it this far.