Female Sexual Dysfunction

[livingwith]

I am a post-menapausal woman - married 40+ years. All my life (even before marriage), I have had no real sexual appetite. Now, my body is really fighting me. I have the feeling a great deal of this problem comes from my childhood. My mother would not talk with me about sex - I was kept pretty much “under her thumb”. If I could find a hypnotist - I could probably find out what happened in my past to make me the way I am now. My husband and I have been experimenting with “...Read the full article

[Emer]

I read your story as if reading my own to some degree. I feel so helpless in finding a solution - it seems so complicated. My sexual appetite went into serious decline after the birth of our child which ended up tearing me quite a bit and I've never had the same sensation ever again down below and the incontinence doesn't help matters.
My husband tends to go straight to the genitals and breasts which only annoys me - where is the romance and foreplay. I don't want to be touched in a sexual way at all now - I'd prefer a great big warm hug and cup of tea thanks very much. We have been to a sex and marital counselor and we talked and we talked and we didn't get any further.
I am hoping to go see a gynecologist to explore another avenue, I had my thyroid and oestrogen levels checked out but all's fine there. What disappoints me is the lack of research in this topic and lack of helpful results.
I will just keep trying different things and hope over time my sexual interest will increase and the tiger within me will reemerge. I feel almost like the living dead...I'm not even 40 and feel like I have been dubbed out of feeling joy and I feel like I've robbed my husband of a close and intimate relationship which we could enjoy and nurture for many years to come - instead we are like brother and sister. Sorry to be so depressed but I am sad as I haven't had the nerve to talk to many friends about this bar one who is also going though the same experience. It's a lonely condition, the inability to show love in its most intimate form.

[gheera367]

I truly understand your problem - even though mine is more physical (age, you know) that anything else. My GYN hasn't been able to help because she says everything is as and where it should be physically. Like I said, I have the feeling a "shrink" might help, but I know my husband would NOT go - and what would be the purpose if he wouldn't participate? If you find any other possible solutions, let me know - I'm willing to try almost anything. I love my husband - even after being with him 40 years (sometimes it's hard .... LOL!) ...... talking with someone who understands sometimes finds a solution! Thanks for listening! Anyone else out there that has some ideas???????

[Ladybug72]

My heart goes out to you and to the others that have replied to your story. I understand how frustrating it is to wish you had more natural sexual desire. I had a surgery a few years ago and had to have one of my ovaries removed, which resulted in less and less desire for sex and less enjoyment during the times I did have sex. Then a few months ago, I heard an expert researcher talk about a product that promotes healthy sexual performance. She explained to me afterwards that women lose testoterone as they age, which decreases sexual desire. So in order to increase your sex-drive, you need your body to produce more testosterone. I ordered the product and began using it this summer. And I am so happy to report that it made a huge difference in my sex life! The information on how to obtain the product is all personal information, so I'm not sure how to share it with you on this site because of their guidelines of no personal contact information being posted. But maybe the info about increasing your testosterone levels will be of some help!

[calvinethobbes]

Thank you for sharing your problem with us. I'd be interested in more from the man's perspective - I am a man! My wife, over the years, seems to have lost the little sexual appetite that she had. I love her, and we are each the first and only partner of the other. We now go for months without sex, and it seems to come now only when I express forcibly my frustration (which is permanent). I don't want just 'sex'. I want to make love, to exchange desire. I too am absolutely desperate - but in my case, my wife just doesn't seem to treat this as a real problem, so I buy the books that she doesn't read! At last, she has agreed to see a sexologist with me - so perhaps there's a glimmer of hope on the horizon. I guess the one clear lesson from my experience is that you shouldn't beleive that problems with just go away, and that things may get better on their own.