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Complete lack of sex drive is killing my marriage-NEED HELP:

Post a new topicby lackinglust on Mon Jun 02, 2008 9:15 pm

The title says it all. I don't know what to do anymore. I am very lucky to have such a patient and faithful husband. I lost my sex drive completely after having baby #2, once I get into the act I eventually become aroused, however I never initiate since there is no drive whatsoever. My husband also has been working midnights which is actually 6p.m. to 6 a.m. at his work since just after baby #2 which then means we don't even sleep together anymore anyway so there's that lack of closeness as well. I guess I just don't know what to do!! Any advice please?????
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lackinglust
 
Posts: 1 | Joined: Mon Jun 02, 2008 9:08 pm

Re: Complete lack of sex drive is killing my marriage-NEED HELP:

Post a new topicby rijman on Thu Jul 10, 2008 1:00 am

I don't have the answer for you but at least you are seeking out answers and appear to be genuinely concerned about your husband's sex life. Too many women are in a similar situation but do not actively look for solutions or have concern for their husbands. When wives lose interest in sex it is typically the husbands who suffer the most. By recognizing the problem you are well on your way to the solution, so best of luck.
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rijman
 
Posts: 3 | Joined: Thu Jul 10, 2008 12:52 am

Re: Complete lack of sex drive is killing my marriage-NEED HELP:

Post a new topicby sensovi on Mon Jul 14, 2008 4:32 pm

I work in the field of sexual health and relationships and I can say that this is one of the most common issues that brings couples in for counseling. I would urge you to seek professional help. It is an investment of money and time (and emotions, etc) but it is worth the effort if it saves your marriage.

Another option would be to join an online support group or online learning program. We have a group called E-Sensual Woman that is a monthly class and an online support group with learning modules developed by a certified sex therapist. This option is cheaper and women can go at their own pace.

Whatever option you choose, I hope that you will be proactive and take steps towards the intimacy and sexual satisfaction that you both deserve.

- Becky
[moderator note: website address has been removed]
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sensovi
 
Posts: 6 | Joined: Mon Jul 14, 2008 4:25 pm

Re: Complete lack of sex drive is killing my marriage-NEED HELP:

Post a new topicby kto on Tue Jul 29, 2008 10:21 am

hi - I have been married to the same guy for ten years and lived with him for 12 before we got married - I am also taking a medication that inhibited my sex drive. about three months ago a girlfriend gave me a juice that is high in antioxidants,phytonutirents, fatty acids and glucosamine - I do not know how it works but my sex drive has gone through the ROOF - over the past month I have had more sex then I had in the previous six and it was not just - "lets do it so he does not cheat sex" it was sex where I felt active and engaged

the added benefit is that I have felt much more intiamate with my husband out of bed - so we are both getting what we want.

email me if you want more information and to learn how you can get the juice

[moderator note: e-mail address has been removed]

for me it has been AMAZING
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kto
 
Posts: 3 | Joined: Tue Jul 29, 2008 10:12 am

Re: Complete lack of sex drive is killing my marriage-NEED HELP:

Post a new topicby kto on Wed Jul 30, 2008 1:52 am

I am sorry my email has been removed - I do not know if this is the board policy - I also have a website it is

[moderator note: website address has been removed]

or you can call me at [moderator note: phone number has been removed]

this is not a scam - I have found something that WORKS and I want to share it with others - I was in a position where I did not remember what I was missing until I got it back

if my website and phone is removed again if you can think of some other way to contact me I will be happy to answer any questions

maybe they will let your email address stay I do not know - but I will check back and respond to anyone who leaves a request

this product has given me hope that I can have a full, active, healthy sex life with a person i love for many years to come - for a long time I did not think this was possible
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kto
 
Posts: 3 | Joined: Tue Jul 29, 2008 10:12 am

Re: Complete lack of sex drive is killing my marriage-NEED HELP:

Post a new topicby gina3210 on Mon Oct 06, 2008 7:28 pm

get in to marital counseling asap.. before its too late and the damage is too deep to repair...
women need to feel emotionally connected in order to desire sex... which is probably the main
reason you have low desire... also hormonal reasons after having a baby could come into play..

from experience.. ive been there.... sounds like you want to work and fix this.. just dont wait..
do it now.. with or without your husband, you need help
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gina3210
 
Posts: 6 | Joined: Wed Oct 01, 2008 7:38 pm

Re: Complete lack of sex drive is killing my marriage-NEED HELP:

Post a new topicby toothartist on Thu Apr 16, 2009 5:15 pm

[quote="kto"]I am sorry my email has been removed - I do not know if this is the board policy - I also have a website it is

[moderator note: website address has been removed]

or you can call me at [moderator note: phone number has been removed]

this is not a scam - I have found something that WORKS and I want to share it with others - I was in a position where I did not remember what I was missing until I got it back

if my website and phone is removed again if you can think of some other way to contact me I will be happy to answer any questions

maybe they will let your email address stay I do not know - but I will check back and respond to anyone who leaves a request

this product has given me hope that I can have a full, active, healthy sex life with a person i love for many years to come - for a long time I did not think this was possible[/quote]
PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHAT PRODUCT AND WEBSITE YOU USED: [moderator note: e-mail address has been removed]
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toothartist
 
Posts: 1 | Joined: Thu Apr 16, 2009 5:04 pm

Re: Complete lack of sex drive is killing my marriage-NEED HELP:

Post a new topicby Sarafina on Thu Apr 30, 2009 3:54 pm

Hun, you and your hubby both sound like you're worn out tired> you know you are not alone with what your going threw. But I see from what you wrote that you are putting so much pressure upon your self, and feeling like your not a sexual being. Well stop it! when your dealing with a new baby and another little one, its draining and your tired , then your hubby is always working he comes home and you said hes tired to. look we aren't animals, we have feeling and ll kinds of emotions and how are you supposed to feel? I have 4 kids myself, so been where you are ok.
this is my suggestion for the both of you. Not just you, remember it takes two! think about it, how can you expect to give love, when your not loving yourself,? cant give from your heart when your all worn out and haven't given any attention to yourself! we again ARENT ANIMALS!I think you need some .... ME TIME... even if its only one hour, do something that is just for you, ie... go for a walk, read a favorite book,go soak and relax in the tub, add some pretty smelling oils to a warm bath , put some candles around turn the lights of and put what music you enjoy the most on and enjoy! or go out with a girlfriend and see a movie, my point here is, do something that is just for you. we Moms are so busy taking care of or babies , kids, husband and everyone else that we do loose who we are in a sense.you need to learn to take care of you first and by doing that you are loving yourself and that's so very important! OK, next...you need to stop thinking about sex, and start a new. see making love to me is an all day thing, we as ladies need to be given the emotional loving and a bit of flirting and a spark of romance, where as men are visual , don't take much for them.so , why don't you have a date night a few times a week with your hubby.go to his office, bring him a home made lunch, and if u can stay with him and eat together , all the better. but if you no that isn't in the card for now,Id write him a love letter, tell him whats in your heart. do silly things like you used to do when you first met, share the memories, and soon I bet you'll be adding so much more to them.
if you can go out once a week and leave the kids with someone you trust great. if you cant then don't worry here's another suggestion..have a girlfriend or your mom anyone who will give you some hours to get a relaxing bath and allow you peace, so you're able to not worry about anything. after you bath set a romantic table,don't matter if hubby has had dinner at work, men are usually willing to have a snack anytime. so use your imagination. I hope you will try these things, I wish you luck and remember to love yourself and that making love is more than the sexual act. God bless!
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Sarafina
 
Posts: 10 | Joined: Thu Apr 30, 2009 1:00 pm

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