Female Sexual Dysfunction

[MsNonymous]

I'm a 25 years old, healthy and I've been with the same man for over five years, just one problem, I have no sexual sensation in any part of my body and I never have. I’m not actually numb, I mean I feel pressure, but not any kind of pleasure or tingling. I'm not even sure if I have sexual desire, I suppose I might, I enjoy watching pornography, but I’d have nothing to compare the feeling too. We’ve attempted intercourse several times, but no mater how relaxed I am, I feel like I’m too tight and it’s just painful. I saw a gynecologist and she said I was just too tense, but I’m really not, I don’t have any problem with sex. I didn’t even have any major negative sexual experiences; my parents helped me to be very comfortable with learning about the Birds & the Bees. One thing I thought might be the problem is the Wellbutrin I take for my asperger's syndrome, but the main ingredient in that is Bupropion, which is use to treat female sexual dysfunction. Besides going off the medication is just not an option, I’ve tried it twice, the withdraw symptoms are brutal. I’m completely lost, I’ve been trying to figure this out for years, but I just can’t feel anything sexual, plus I can’t afford to go to a doctor. I really need help.

[Sarafina]

do you truly in your heart of hearts love your man? could be that maybe you just think you love him?could it also be that your so worried about getting to that all mighty orgasm? sounds to me like your putting so much into that and sex, sex, sex. You need to relax, be together talk about anything other than sex! when you can finally stop fretting over performance, and i bet your comparing yourself against those women in the films you watch too. well don't! they are doing what they are getting paid for,so if your thinking all women are like that, so why cant you be? then fairy tales can come true, lol
best advice is , be true to who you are, love your self and don't sit in judgement of yourself. maybe you need to learn your own body, and what feels good to you and what turns you off first.you cant share with your love, whats makes you feel good if you don't even know that yourself.It will come in time and with love, the best orgasms isn't from below , its comes from the heart and it will when real, rock your world! good luck.

[Sarafina]

p.S. it may be a good idea to have your hormone levels checked. it could be that your hormones are out of whack, maybe estrogen levels are very low? that has a huge part in libido among other things.

[MsNonymous]

[quote="Sarafina"]do you truly in your heart of hearts love your man? could be that maybe you just think you love him?could it also be that your so worried about getting to that all mighty orgasm? sounds to me like your putting so much into that and sex, sex, sex. You need to relax, be together talk about anything other than sex! when you can finally stop fretting over performance, and i bet your comparing yourself against those women in the films you watch too. well don't! they are doing what they are getting paid for,so if your thinking all women are like that, so why cant you be? then fairy tales can come true, lol
best advice is , be true to who you are, love your self and don't sit in judgement of yourself. maybe you need to learn your own body, and what feels good to you and what turns you off first.you cant share with your love, whats makes you feel good if you don't even know that yourself.It will come in time and with love, the best orgasms isn't from below , its comes from the heart and it will when real, rock your world! good luck.[/quote]

Really? I know your trying to help, but this is the kind of advice they gave out in the American Pie movies. I hate to ever treat free advice with rudeness, but this entire post is just so incredibly offensive. You asked Do I really love him in my “heart of hearts” (were exactly is the heart of hearts in the human body? I think I missed that sub chapter in Grey's Anatomy) and then later in the post you “lol” at the statement “fairy tales can come true”.

This is serous; I need practical and/or medical advice not pseudoscience by way of Disney. “Love” if it exists at all isn’t necessary for sexual sensation, neurological science and pretty much any horny teen can tell you that.

Do I love him, yes, do I think he loves me, well he does put up with me being unable to perform for the entire relationship and when you’re unmarried and in your mid twenties that’s a huge statement of devotion. As for talking, well yes we actually do alot of that we’re best friends, no one as ever helped me to be truer to how I really am then this man. We also have a ton of conmen interests, but we almost never talk about sex anymore because it’s just a frustrating topic that always leads back to our lack of accesses to any kind of healthcare. It’s not like I never tried discovering my own body, but I quickly found that their was nothing to discover, no activity cause a sensual reaction. I feel fairly confident I know what I like, and I defiantly know what repulses me, but it’s all for naught if I don’t have functional genitals.

I’m not worried about the “mighty orgasm”, I can’t feel anything, but pressure and pain. So yes I am fretting and I am stressed, but not for any of anything you listed and not even because he might leave me for a woman who works. I’m fretting and I am stressed because I want to be (excuse the misnomer) normal.

[MsNonymous]

[quote="Sarafina"]p.S. it may be a good idea to have your hormone levels checked. it could be that your hormones are out of whack, maybe estrogen levels are very low? that has a huge part in libido among other things.[/quote]


Thank you, I hadn't considered that, I often thought on of the medications they had me on when I was younger screwed me up, but those side effects are suppose to dissipate when you go off them. It’s just unfortunate that I can’t afford to see a doctor, I guess I’ll just add it to the list of things I can ask a doctor if universal health care ever kicks in.

[Sarafina]

I am truly sorry if I in any way offended you. That wasn't my intention at all. First off, I know nothing about you except what you posted, and based on that I was just trying to help.
yes, you re correct ,when you had stated-that love isn't necessary for sexual sensation. I just was trying to say that you aren't alone with what your going threw.I tell you this from my own experience,OK.
That is why I asked if you truly love him and he you. My comment about the orgasm,I just feel that there are so many women who are of the mindset, that if they cant cum, or pro form then they are labeled as freaks and that is so , so wrong! And with that we put such pressure upon our backs and, then we can't relax at all. I meant no offence.
It sounds like you have a wonderful loving man, that is supportive in all ways. That is such a blessing!
Again,I'M very sorry if I offended you.

[MsNonymous]

Thank you, I know you only had the best intentions. I've been researching this problem for years, but I have no access to any professional help. I guess I was just hoping for some one who might know exactly what’s wrong or had a similar exsperince. I am very stressed now, but this was a problem when I was a (relatively) care free student. It might be emotional, but I seriously doubt it.

[Crys]

I feel for you! Going through the same thing. I am 30 years old and have only learned what an orgasm is now though it was very weak. I never masturbated in my life until the past year which is where I learned what a clitoral orgasm is. I never had the need or urge to play with myself and I have no pleasurable sensation in my clit, nipples or vagina. It's like rubbing my back or my elbow!!!

Although I have no pleasurable sensation to start or want to play with myself I have the desire for that end result now. If I use the magic wand enough (half hour minimum) I can achieve that amazing sensation I have been missing out on all my sexual life.

My boyfriend over the last year has been leading me through this! I am totally in love with him. He is an amazing man. Before it was difficult on him because he gets off on pleasing his lady but it would frustrate him because it just wouldn't happen no matter how long he worked on me!!!

He is very understanding now that he has been learning more about Female Sexual Dysfunction and Female Orgasmic Disorder. Which has taken a lot of pressure off getting to the end result and just enjoying ourselves. If it happens it happens kind of attitude. We have a healthy sexual relationship and haven't gone more than 24 hours without some sort of sexual active especially in the last 6 months. I enjoy being with him and want to be with him but not for the reasons of feeling horny, or excited and needing to get off.

We are now going the route of medically checking and balancing everything. I have been working out over the last 6 months, watching my diet, getting blood work done and arming myself with sexual information. Seeing a woman on the internet have a clitoral orgasm was very helpful. I understood what my body should be doing and what to actually expect when it did happen. Before I had no clue what I was even looking for.

So I recently came off the pill to see if I can get my hormone levels back in check. I am convinced this is the culprit for me. Funny I actually just read a post before this one from a woman that was asking if there was a way to lower desire! A doctor mentioned that there wasn't a way but therapy could help. Than someone else that wasn't a doctor disagreed and said yes there is a way for instance by taking the medication Wellbutrin. So it could be the case for you too.

I have recently found that I have low testosterone. I have to go back for more tests to find out what my Free testosterone levels are and my Sex hormone binding globulin results are. (SHBG) Testosterone is important to women also. It gives us our drive not only sexually but motivationally. Low testosterone can lead to depression, lack of drive, lack of motivation, lack of sexual desire, to symptoms like fatigue and feeling cold all the time.

I have way more information to share with you maybe not so openly like a forum! If you would like to contact me further please feel free to e-mail or msn me at [moderator note: e-mail address has been removed]

[MsNonymous]

Crys hug me my soul sister!
Seriously this is brilliant, low testosterone may be exactly what's wrong with me. We looked it up and it all fits (we’re both biology nerds). Sarafina’s suggestion to get a hormone check would likely have reviled this (so thank you again), but it’s always great to have something specific to help the marry doctor on his way. Ironically I just got medical insurance so I can final get this taken care of. I was a little unsure at first, but I tried the vibrater like you said and I ACTUALLY FELT SOMETHING! Not much, certainly not “”getting pleasurably electrocuted” (as I once heard climax described), but it was a minor tingle, which is more then I’ve ever had before. Thank you so much.

They removed your E-mail address, but I think it’s plenty safe and anonymous here, so if you like I welcome more advice.

[Crys]

I'm hope it all works out. I have an appointment at the end of the month with the women's clinic. I am reading a good book right now also that is arming me with information on different tests they can do at clinics that deal with Female sexual dysfunction....(I really hate that word) but look it up and you will find more information than you know! It's called "For Women Only" by Jennifer Berman, MD and Laura Berman, PhD with Elisabeth Bumiller.

I'm glad you felt something. I was shocked it worked for me too!!! It felt like nothing, nothing, nothing then after about 30 min. I got this warm feeling and i held it there and than a warm flushed feeling came over me. It built up and then the pulsating started and release. It seemed like an awful lot of work for 10 seconds of pleasure but it's worth it! Anyway hope this info is a little more to help out!