[sexuallyfrustrated]

I don't know who can help me with my strange problem. I am a 33 year old woman and have had a problem for 18 years. I can only get off with a vibrater and also my orgasms are so weak, I barely feel them. Just a litttle tingling feeling and thats it. I get no tightening in my stomach or thighs,no moaning or great pleasure. I KNOW there is something physcially wronge with me. I must have nerve damage or pelvis damage or some damage. Help. What could it be?

[sojaded]

I have the exact issue....and i am dumbfounded by the lack of resources for this. It seems there are plenty of resources for men who have sexual dysfunction, and they even developed medications to help them...but not for us. What is up with that?

Pat answers just won't address this issue, as I've tried all the usual things. I am a 43 year old lesbian, who was a "late-bloomer"-my first sexual experience was at 23 with a woman; I never masturbated or saw myself as a sexual creature before that time--yet since then, I have become an enthusiastic, open, educated lover. I have few if any sexual boundaries, love myself, am secure in my natural sexual orientation, educated, and self-aware. I have never been raped or molested, don't have trouble getting aroused or lubricated. Yet, I have some form of anorgasmia, or Female Orgasmic Dysfunction (FOD) that doesn't seem to fall under Primary, Secondary or Situational, completely, but is closest to Secondary. I am unable to achieve orgasm without a high-powered vibrator--and no, this didn't happen AFTER using the vibrator and becoming dependent/ desensitized. I began turning to the vibrator because it was the only thing powerful enough to engage a response of any kind. And even then, it is highly localized at my clitoris, and that's the only area that gets relief...at the contact point. This "pseudo-orgasm" does not travel, does not seem to register in the pleasure center of my brain, does not give me tingles, does not engender euphoria, or afterglow. It feels very mechanical and impersonal... yet it is the only relief i can get. I have ALWAYS had trouble with it, only experiencing a "real" orgasm during one period in my life--and that was many years ago, with the only woman I was ever truly in love with. I have worked through most of my issues and am a primarily happy, positive person, though I took anti-depressants off and on for years beforehand. I suspect the meds may be a component--but more than that, I have this sense that my nerves and brain chemicals do not function properly. When I try to reach orgasm without the aid of a vibrator, I can only reach the plateau phase, and it will never "break" and go over into orgasm. If I continue to try, I eventually just go numb. With the vibrator, I can often get to the orgasm stage, but as I said, it does not really register as "pleasure" for me, only slight release, and only at that small contact point, and it is entirely without an emotional component. It's as if i am only pleasing that tiny portion of my anatomy, and not ME.

Also, I am very familiar with G-spot orgasm, and can give them to other women, but have discovered also that my G-spot does not function either. I feel nothing. I've spent many hours experimenting with all these things, and reading all kinds of material and self-help guides, and even worked with various girlfriends....to no avail.

What part of my sexual self could be "broken" in this sense? Is there a treatment for this sort of thing?"

[sensovi]

I am a sexual health educator for E-Sensual Woman and I am passionate about helping women discover their sensuality. Many women in my group have similar concerns, so you are not broken or alone. My usual suggestions are take some time out from climax focused activities. Enjoy your sensuality and your non sexual relationship with your partner. Have fun without going all the way. Try things like exploring more of what delights your senses or erotic massages. Remember not all orgasm or desire issues are directly attributed to physical dysfunctions. However, a negative mental association or disconnect can cause a physical response which then creates a vicious cycle, hence the mind- body connection.