[livingwith]

Well,to start off my name is Brilina. I am 14 years old.My boyfriend is 16.We are currently in a long distance relationship.We are both currently virgins,simply for the fact that we are waiting for each other.So, heres my story.To start things off I am thinking about having a baby at this age,and to make matters even more difficult,i’m in a long distance relationship.
I am not being pressured in any way to have sex with my boyfriend of a year and four months.What my boyfriend wants is to h...Read the full article

[basnightme]

Dear Am I Crazy...:
You sound like a very intelligent young lady. You express yourself well and obviously have given this much thought. No, you are not crazy, but neither are you thinking straight! You are "thinking" with your heart and your hormones!

First of all, fourteen is too young to even be dating, let alone to have a steady. I am happy that you are still a virgin and pray that you decide to remain a virgin until you are married five or six years from now at the minimum!!!!!!!!!!!

At the ages of fourteen and sixteen, there is noooooooo wayyyyyyyyyy that you or your boyfriend are ready to be parents or to have sex. One thing you are right about is that your boyfriend just wants to have sex. That is true for 99% of all males and they will say whatever they think you want to hear in order to talk their way into your panties. They will promise you the moon and a few stars along with it.

You say he does not pressure you in any way, but that is not true. His "pressure" is so subtle that you don't recognize it for what it is. Telling you that he wants you to have his baby so that you will think of him when he is away from you is pressure, but you see it as him being "sweet". It's not.

You say you don't want to disappoint your parents. You getting pregnant so young will not only disappoint them, it will hurt everyone concerned, especially you, and that baby!!!!!!!!

You are a freshman in high school. You have so much of life ahead of you. There are school activities, proms, graduation, college, and a career to look forward to. All of these things are so much easier to accomplish without a baby on your hip. Do you even know what you want to do and what you want to be when you grow up?

You said your Mom was a teen mother. Talk to her. She knows what's ahead of you if you make this choice. You are free to choose the choice, but you have no choice in the consequences of that choice and they can be eternal.

Consentrate on your education and finding out who you really are, because at 14, you have no idea.

One thing I will tell you about who you are; YOU are a DAUGHTER of GOD, unique and precious to Him. He knows you by name, He loves you, and has a plan for your life. He wants only the best for you in everything, but His hands are bound by your choices. Pray to Him. Ask Him for His guidance and direction.

If boyfriend really loves you he will not want to do anything that is not in your best interest. Having sex and having babies when you are not married and so very young is not in your best interest or his. If he truly loves you, he will wait and if you truly love him, you will wait, also.

Remember, don't do anything until you get that wedding ring!!!!!!!!

[Lindis]

Well, I think it's very clever of you to write a list with pros and cons, for either having a baby, or not having a baby. However, nowhere on that list does it say what YOU would have to offer this child. Having a baby is not about fullfilling just your needs, but that of a brand new human being as well, and you have nothing to offer but love, and that is not enough. How are you going to afford clothes, food, medical visits, child care, crib,toys, stroller, and all the other things a child will need for years to come?.
More important, what are you going to do when your so called boyfriend isn't there for you any more, to provide you with his taco bell pay check. If you told him that you are not going to have sex until you turn sixteen, he would probably drop you like a hot potatoe, or continue to pressurize you.
I don't mean to be mean, but having a child is not a joke, and you shouldn't even be thinking about that at your age. Look at how your own mother is struggling, is that what you want for yourself, and your child? If it is, go right ahead, have one baby, have another one. If you want to be a good responsible parent, you will finish high-school, get a college degree, a good job, and THEN a baby!

The reason why you don't want to tell your parents is because you know it's wrong, and you know that they would want more for you, and you should want more for yourself as well. If you want to have sex fine, but don't ever let anyone talk you in to having unprotected sex! You obviously have no idea how many sexually transmitted diseases are out there, and if you don't take care of yourself today, that may affect your chances of having a healthy baby in the future, as well as affecting your own health.

[teachpregteens]

I am utterly shocked! You are without a doubt crazy, maybe even a little insane. Now first, as a tax payer, I want to know what kind of insurance you have and does it cover maternity, or are you going to pay out of pocket? Because any responsible person knows that it should not be the government’s responsibility to pay for you to have a baby. Texas alone paid $41 million for the births of babies to teen mothers.

Do you really believe your boyfriend is the amazing person he is? He's a child like you honey and being a boy his hormones are raging. He will certainly throw you under a bus for the first skirt that will give it up. You are not that special to him, I know it's hard to believe, but you're just not. (later you can think back about that mean person who was brilliantly correct, me) I am almost 28, unmarried and do not have children. I have dated a lot and one thing I have found to be true is that men on the whole are the same. They cycle in high school they love having the girlfriend, 19-21 they want guy time and party time. Around 22-23 they get into steady relationships because constantly looking for easy sex gets tiring and for the next year and a half they will most likely sleep with that girl, that is until something new and enticing comes along then he's over his steady girl and resumes partying. This will last a few years until he knocks some girl up and then he'll settle down.

So my point is you are just a step in his exploration of life. Girls don't be so easily fooled, wise up to that wolf in sheep’s clothing!