[livingwith]

Just this past Saturday night my daughter and her boyfriend decided to have a family cookout here at our home. They said they just wanted to get us all together before he was sent to Iraq (2 weeks). I thought it was a great idea and was happy to see all of his family. We’ve been friends for several years, the kids all showed horses together in 4-H. But I had this gut feeling there was more to it. In fact I had been having a gut feeling for about a month. Well, it turned out that my feeli...Read the full article

[juliek]

My 17 yr old daughter just informed us that she is pregnant. I was so sad. I have cried everyday since she has told me. (only once in front of her)..I am trying hard to deal with this and will support her no matter what..but I am so sad!
I was a teen mother and my parents really gave me a hard time. They made me feel so useless. I remeber one time my mother said that the one thing that I did that made her so proud was getting my tubes tied!...I am 36 years old now and have been divorced from my daughters dad for 10 years but I have a good job at a mortgage company and support my children on my own without welfare and child support. I didn't go to college but I worked hard and I made a name for myself in the company that I work for so i am lucky. I guess the reason that I am so sad is that I wanted so much more for my daughter. I didn't want her to struggle like I did. So much is going to change now in her life and I guess that is what is bothering me so much. I am not mad and I have not yelled...i just told her that I will love her and walk hand in hand with her through whatever...but when I am alone ...i cry....
I appreciate your posting. This is what I am looking for...some positive attitudes to help me know that everything is going to be ok. Thank you.

[banshee]

Hi Juliek
It sounds to me as if your handling it pretty well. You should pat yourself on the back!!! You know it's "okay" to be sad and even cry, tears have to fall sometimes to make room for new emotions. Let that space fill up with new hopes and dreams for your daughters new future with your grandchild. In todays world her possibilties are endless...just remind her often. It's sounds too me that won't be a problem....look what you did!!! As you know it's not always easy but I honestly believe with a strong supportive family any young woman can do anything they set their minds on.
I learned something a long time ago, dreams come and go...what you dream for today may not be your dream tomorrow. Just like goals, some are reached while other aren't. You have to take each day as it comes, set your goals...dream your dreams but be able to adjust as the situations roll at you. And I'm sure you know just what I mean, resetting your goals or put your dreams on hold. But that didn't stop you from reaching new goals or dreaming new dreams.
My daughter and I have had many late night heart to hearts over this and we have set some short term goals as far as school goes, her plans for singing and college. So far the she has managed to get 4 weeks ahead in her school work with all A's and B's. The second is I put her in a singing contest and she took 2nd place!!! I was so proud of her...I cried. She sang "Broken" and it fit!!!! If you get a chance to listen to the song pay attention to the words, it's very fitting for a expecting teen. As far as college goes, we was going to start some class's in Jan. but have decided to wait until the fall quarter so she has some time with the baby and her husband when he get back. But that could change!!!
Julie, remember it's okay to cry and it's okay to cry in front of your daughter, maybe even a good thing. Cry together. Let her know your crying for the dreams you had for her but also let know you have new dreams and there just as big as the ones your crying for. You may be suprised at the new bond you'll have. And isn't that what it's all about...
I wish you, your daughter and grandchild all the best, stay strong (strong women to do cry!!!) and let me know how things are going,
lilbanshee