Teen Pregnancy

[paulachoate]

I just found out yesterday my 13 year old is pregnant.. I have talked to the boys parents who say they will take on the responsibility too, and my husband and I have agreed to help raise this baby!! My daughter has to finish school and I pray will go to college. I take my daughter to the doctor on friday for her first appointment... I am in shock and just full of emotion and I am angry!!! I have 3 children a son 19 another 15 turning 16 and my daughter 13 turning 14 in November.. I am so angry!!!! I always no what to do and think I can handle anything but oh my another baby!!!! no abortion or adoption. I just do not get it I have talked and talked and here we are.. my daughter acts excited and I want to ring her neck.....I know it is not the babies fault.... I am so angry and stressed and when i think about this I cry... whats a mother to do with a teen who is going to be a mom yet still a girl. my daughter gets excellent grades in school a sweetheart no trouble ever.. this has thrown me for a loop. my husband is being my rock all calm cool and collected, when I am freaking out!!! I have no idea what resources are out there for her,us. We are located in Oklahoma. Is W.I.C. still out there? we have medical insurance but how does that work with another baby? is there additional school resources? where do I start ? I got the doctor part setup.. now what ? my gosh she is not fully developed what about the baby? My daughter is small framed tall and thin what will that do? oh my gosh ....

[ntarsio3]

Hi my name is Cole
i am a 19 year old college student and i just read your message and wanted to reply. ow first off pleas pardon my spelling i am dyslexic. aka cant spell.
I am sorry for your circumstance. I cant imagine how much stress and confusion you could be going through. I would be angry too.
from close to resent experiences of being 13 i can tell you she just doesn't understate. sexuality is the great unknown and it is not surprising, if she is good looking, that she know she can play in the game. controling yourself is hard why you dont no why you should. I am sorry she when to far. but being sexshual just makes her a human. getting pregnant means she is yung.
sorry i have to hury now.
look more into adoption really try. all babys are myricals and some people are unable to have one. I was an adopted baby and i was the bigest blessing on my mother. she always wanted a baby. I resuntly met my birth parents and giving me up was not entierly nessasary they were about 19 when they got pregnet, but now they are about 40 and have happy healthy familys. adoption can save manny lifes.
try not to be mad hug your douter and remember when you found out when you were pregnet with her. and since then your love for her has only grown!

[paulachoate]

Thank you so much for the word of advice!! I am doing so much better since my last time on here. The baby is going to have a lot of love and attention from its grandparents... You are so right about a baby being a blessing and there are people who would love to have one but are unable... My daughter whom I love so much and is so bright made a one time mistake and will learn from it.. My husband and I are very much looking forward to being grandparents and having a share in raising this new little one when it arrives...

[BGSU_Mom]

I was a teenage mother and I felt that I should really give you some advice from someone who has kind of been in her position. I am 22 years old and about to graduate from college this May, I got pregnant when I was 16 and I was mortified, I felt like my whole life just shattered into pieces. My first bit of advice is to calm down because right now she might feel very scared herself (actually I guarantee she does) and your being upset doesn't help anything and the baby is already in there. When I was freaking out about everything it was my mom who made me feel that everything was going to be OK (she lied a bit because its been tough) but for that time it really gave me the confidence I needed. Yes, WIC is still out there and she should be able to get on it despite your income. Once the child is born I believe that at least the baby will qualify for Medicaid and there is help with child care so that it will be based on her income (which is nothing I assume). I give you this advice because it could help you out with the financial aspects. My second bit of advice is to give her the confidence that she needs to finish school, at 13 it will be a lot harder for her but the advantage is that when college hits the child will be older and it will be a little easier. I still get a lot of crap from my family because they don't believe in me, my grandmother said I would never get through high school much less go to college, now I'm applying to law school. At times I actually believed this stuff and it made me slip up and then at other times it made me fight back because I knew the best revenge was to succeed. What I am saying is that its important for you to let her know that she can do it. When I think of the worse moments of my life I think of the powerlessness that I had over my life and the life of my baby and the shame and fear of being a mother so young. Its important for you to counter act that. My last advice is even though she is 13 she should be taking care of this baby! I hated my mother for not having helped me when I had my son even though she said that she would. But now I am grateful, first of all I don't want to get pregnant again and secondly it made me grow up. If you take care of that baby for her then when its time for her to move out on her own she won't have a clue and that child will think of you as her/his mother and furthermore, she will very possibly get pregnant again. I've seen it a million times. 13 is a little different than 16 because she can't even drive a car yet but she should still be the one feeding it and bathing it and waking up in the middle of the night (except maybe on exam days or the night before the ACTs). She should know up front that this is going to be a hard struggle, I've gone three days without sleep, I've paid for bread and milk all in pennies and much more. But as someone towards the end of my long struggle I can tell you that it is all worth it and she will feel better about herself in the end, and it will be easier for her if she has her mom by her side. I hope this helps and if you have any more questions I will be happy to answer them.