[Stepmom71]

She's 16, over 3 months pregnant and knows it all. She waited to tell us when she was 3 months along in hopes of keeping it. My husband and I are against it, her mother and stepdad are against it, even her grandmother is against it! But oh no! She wants to keep it! When asked if we weren't around what would she do? She replies "Well I wouldnt have it obviously!"
There is no talking to her about adoption or abortion, (yes, we know the dangers of abortion at this stage), she shuts down and won't talk to us.
Her boyfriend lives 3-4 hours away and filling her head with crap, (I'll take care of you and the baby, i'll get a job and support you, we'll live happily ever after), and we have never met him!
She expects the 4 of us to take care of her and her baby. She has never had a job, can't support herself and lives in a fantasy land.
I'm am so angry.

Does anyone have any suggestions or words of wisdom?

[Beccainalaska]

Most of the time i would say to stand by her! But it sounds like she is a little out of it. If she wants to keep the baby let her try. Don't help her, make her take care of her own child. If she can't do a good job (which it sounds like she can't) then call child services.She'll get her act together or the baby will be taken from her. That lets her relise the truth raising a child is work.

[pocketpixie28]

Unfortunately she is 16 and her brain is not fully matured and developed. They say brains continue to mature til 25. Teenagers do not always fully realize that their actions have consequences. My advice:
1. Make sure she is taking care of herself during this pregnancy so that the baby is healthy. Give her encouragement. May sound strange but she is still 16 and does not know a lot of stuff so she needs to hear from the family that she is doing things correctly (now and in the future) and that will go a long way if she keeps the baby too. Do not dwell on the past.
2. Have the family sit down and talk to her about adoption. Do some research. Tell her she can do an open adoption and have contact and visits with the baby and adoptive parents. And, then ask if she will keep her mind open. Maybe after a few weeks with a newborn she will realize that she can't do it and wants to look into adoption. And make her take care of that baby!! Roles have to be defined and she is to be the PRIMARY CAREGIVER, even though she might have other adults in the house. Give her help of course but do not step in and give her less of a responsibility. Make sure she knows it is all her when it comes to the baby and do not expect too much from the bf/father.
3. Make sure she has goals for herself like finishing high school. Make her write them down with deadlines (?) and post them somewhere visible. And then help her with them!
4. Meet this boyfriend. Since he is the daddy to be, the family needs to meet him. He can't be a stranger now. She needs to understand that.

That said. Good luck.