Teen Pregnancy

[hvalentina]

I'm 15 years old and want to have a baby with my boyfriend of over a year. I am wondering all of your opinions on my situation. Im open to answer any questions, so please ask. Thanks for your time :)

[pocketpixie28]

OMG DO NOT DO IT. I dont care if you want a baby, you are too young. Your body is not even ready to carry a baby to full term. REALLY!! You have to ask yourself if you (and your boyfriend) can provide for a baby. You and your bf need to finish your educations, start your careers and THEN get married!!! Make him commit to you before you make a baby together! Otherwise, you face a very hard life as a single, teenage mother and that IS NOT GOOD FOR YOUR BABY!!

[hvalentina]

I understand why you would be saying this, but I know my situation is different from the other girls my age doing the same thing. I am a straight A student and I'm planning on graduating highschool, followed by college, with or without a baby. Also, my boyfriend is a good man and would not leave his child, I know this for a fact. Both of our parents would support it and help us, it's really not as bad as it sounds. But thank you for your concern.

[pocketpixie28]

"Both of our parents would support it and help us".
Okay, this is a BIG problem and this is why your should wait. If you and your Bf want a baby, then you need to take care of it 100% financially, emotionally, physically!!! Not your parents and not his parents. If you know you are going to need help then you know you should wait. Do not burden your parents and his parents with a grand baby that they need to help you raise and support. That is wrong because you are forcing them into that position by planning a baby. They are already supporting you right? Got siblings? Are they going to help you pay for college? College is expensive. I know. I am in my 4th year. And it is a lot of work. I could not imagine taking care of a baby too. Do you think it is fair to them to make them take on another responsibility because you are selfish and want a baby before you can even vote or legally drink. Have you even talked to them about this? I bet they would only be supportive IF you were already pregnant. They would call you crazy if you told them your plans to get pregnant.

[hvalentina]

When I say they will help us I mean just that-- help, not take on all the responsibility. And it is not a burden in that my mother wants a baby herself but cannot have one, so I know she would love to help out. No, I do not have siblings, and as for college, I'm planning on getting a scholarship. I know what you're thinking: I'll never be able to keep my grades up after having the baby. However, I know I will be able to because I am self-motivated and have my priorities in check. I know that to support a child I will need to stay in school, get a good job, etc. I also do not appriciate you calling me selfish. I'm not doing this for myself, I'm doing it for the baby. A baby is a blessing, not a burden or an inconvience. And I know my boyfriend and I will be great parents. The only reason what we're doing sounds "crazy" is because it's out of the norm. Just because the average woman has children much later in life nowadays doesn't mean that doing otherwise is bad or wrong. We may be young, but age isn't everything.

[pocketpixie28]

Age is everything!! Especially when having kids. It has been greatly studied and women (and men/father as well) under 20 and over 35 face greater risks during pregnancy and their children are at greater risk for health problems like prematurity and downs syndrome. One study showed that children fathered by men under 20 were born with increased chances of respiratory problems despite the mother's prenatal care or the gestation of the baby. Another study showed a correlation between fathers over 35 and autism in children. So I am not saying wait till you are 40. No way. I am not even saying wait til you are 25 or 30. I think getting your diploma or GED is the best thing you can do before having a child. Waiting til you are at least 18 would not be a bad idea. I do not see the urgency at 15. I am 22 and I am in college and I would love to start a family with my fiance but I know that I first want to marry him and second graduate nursing school, start my career and pay off my student loans. Scholarships are out there but you have to understand that every other college student wants them too and more and more ppl are going to college or returning to college. Grades are not everything. They also look at financial need, which is actually based on what your parents make, not you and community service. I have always had good grades but I have only received 2 scholarships (based on grades) and 2 grants (based on financial need) and I still have over $8000 in federal loans from 3 years as a full time student and I have 2 more years of nursing school left. Not to mention I attended in-state schools and one was a community college and I have applied for dozens and dozens of scholarships. School is just expensive and it will probably be worse in 3 years for you.

[hvalentina]

I understand things will not be easy, but I'm willing to take those chances. I know in my heart what is right and I know things will work out well. My boyfriend and I will love our baby and we will have a good, happy life. That's all that really matters to me. By the way, I plan on being a doctor. Pretty similar to a nurse... what a coincidence.

[latasha.p]

This is not a smart idea it my seem that a new baby is cute and you want to be a mommy but your young and have a whole life ahead of you. A baby takes away your freedom as a child.a baby is a life time commitment, finish school start your first .....Whos going to support your baby ....Just think about .......

[hvalentina]

Did you read everything that has been said already?

[latasha.p]

well thats your dumb life...So got F*** it up then you going to look like and ass tryin to have a baby at 15 ...